• Leanne - Reboot Coach

How to rejuvenate a lapsed friendship

You probably have at least one childhood friend or old schoolmate that wanders into your thoughts occasionally and has you pondering what they're up to these days.

Life sometimes gets in the way, but regardless of what lead you to lose track of each other, it's never too late to track them down, get back in touch and enrich both your lives. So, how do you go about it? Know that you're in good company. These days, most people use social media to keep in touch with current friends and connect with old ones. According to a study I read recently, more than half of all computer users have employed Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn to track down someone from their past. From first hand experience it's a process I've used as well and I'm guessing you're right there with me. Clarify your intentions. Maybe that first love does belong back in your life, or perhaps there's a friendship that ended on less than good terms that you'd like to heal, or at least find closure on. Alternatively, it could simply be that life got in the way and your friendship fell by the well-meaning wayside while other priorities filled its place. Remain open minded. Modest expectations can help protect your peace of mind. You may be able to pick up where you left off or you may discover that your lives now head in very different directions. Either way, knowing that you meant enough for someone to track them down can still leave that old friend feeling warm and fuzzy, regardless of the outcome - as long as you don't head in with the aim of finally getting that last word. Practical Steps for Connecting 1. In addition to the obvious Facebook and Google searches, broaden your horizons and consider specialised sites as well. Depending on your circumstances, you may want to sign up for special services like, or that have millions of members. 2. Facilitate the conversation. The first chat may feel awkward, so try to avoid the cliche "hey, remember me?" Start off with an interesting, open-ended intro like "Hi there, how's this for a blast from the past? I was just thinking about (the outfit I have to prepare for an 80's night I'm going to and it made me remember that I always envied your hair in high school ... or other relevant topic) and it made me think of you and wonder how life has treated you since we were at (insert workplace, school, sporting or parent group). 3. Stay in touch. Now that you've worked hard to track each other down, hold on to the rewards. Plan ahead so you can mesh your busy schedules without using that throw away line "we should catch up sometime". 4. Be prepared. Reunions can be emotionally charged. Give yourself something else to look forward to in case you wind up feeling disappointed for any reason. If you're reconnecting to heal a friendship then make sure you reach out to someone to get your own issues in check before meeting.

Ultimately though, the Internet has made it easier than ever to find out whatever became of almost anybody. If you miss someone who used to be an important part of your life, take the initiative to see if they're feeling nostalgic too.

That person has come into your thoughts for a reason. Who knows, reconnecting may just be a vital part of the Universe's plans for you.

I'd love to know how you have reconnected with old friends and if you have any tips for others looking to do the same.

Leanne Shaw

Kickass Coach

Reboot Mindset Coaching

Partnering with individuals and organisations wanting the absolute best out of themselves and their lives.




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