This is why dieting is making you fat!
Why you're eating grass, rabbit food, counting your calories and getting nowhere!
Let’s face it. There’s nothing you don’t know about dieting! In fact, if I asked you to share everything you know about HOW to lose weight, you could write a book, couldn’t you?
How do I know?
Because I’m you … you’re me and collectively we represent a fairly large chunk of the hefty-person population.
So, with a head full of weight loss knowledge, hundreds of dollars’ worth of dieting books on each of our shelves (yes, you can admit it – you’re among friends) and weirdly exotic super food ingredients that promise to make us skinny by Tuesday in our pantries … we have to ask ourselves, why the fuck are we still fat?
Good question, I’m glad you asked.
It’s because we are stuck in a negative mind-cycle of “we’re not worthy until we lose 8000kg”, also translated as “when I lose 8000kg I’ll be …. ready to date, happy, more attractive, up for daytime sex, more flexible for daytime sex, more flexible for anytime sex, ready for sex with someone other than myself or (insert your own fantasy outcome here).
So … every diet book that you read, every time you breathe deep and stand on the scales or every time that you chow down on your 28th bowl of wilted spinach with garlic infused goanna nuts you remind yourself that your body is NOT ok … that YOU are not ok!
You are seeing weight loss as a way to tick the box of “thank fuck I’m now acceptable”.
Well … pfft!
How many times have you had a really great week diet wise?
You’ve had days and days of punching your carbs, fat and protein into your diet app and heard the silent applause of a colourful graph doing the “Onya Sonya”.
You’ve gone to bed proud that your macros were the duck’s nuts, proud that those protein bars are actually occurring to you as (now) tasty cardboard, proud that your fit bit’s battery carked itself from having to count so many steps and proud that tomorrow is weigh in day and you haven’t been naughty, not even once. – well, except for that time you ate a WHOLE bunch of broccoli and didn’t add it into your carb count.
I know how many times … because it’s probably the exact same amount of times that I’ve done it too.
BUT … we leap out of bed the next morning, squeeze out all the wee we can and feel euphoric when we drop the kids off to the porcelain pool (as each one of those little shits compromises our weight loss glory), step on the scales with fanfare and applause ringing in our ears, only to look down and be met with glory of shedding a whole 200 grams (also translated to, in the diet world, as total failure).
What the actual fuck?
The fanfare turns to laughter (at our expense) and the only thing we can do is grab the keys, head to the supermarket and drown our sorrows in two litres of hokey pokey ice-cream with the better part of a bottle of ice magic and half a kilo of milo on top as a garnish – because dieting is fucked, it doesn’t work and you’re suddenly ok with chunky dunking instead of skinny dipping, because carbs are better than daytime sex anyway, because you are who you are and fat or slim, if people don’t like you for you then they can just take a ride through the gates of hell with your bullshit scales joining them on the journey!
Yeah! Fuck yeah! (Insert haughty fuck-you laugh here.)
Then … as we scrape the last of the milo infused, sickeningly sweet hokey pokey ice-cream that’s cemented onto the base of the container with ice magic, we default back to the ‘hating ourselves’ mindset and start re-compiling a list of all the reasons why no one will ever fancy us, why we’re total failures and why we probably should just make the call to that annoying Real Life Insurance mob and sign up while there’s still time.
Then …. we get a rush of resolve, we download another diet book, we create another email address so we can sign-up to another macro counting app as a fresh canvas without having to admit to our existing app that we failed and we add broccoli back onto the shopping list … and start the cycle all over again!
But … did you spot the mistake we all make?
The trap we all fall into – or have fallen into at some stage?
The road signs we erect on our weight loss journey to remind us of our failures?
Yep … it’s that we define our worth, our success, our failure by the number on the scales.
We hand the keys to our self-worth over to a piece of glass and metal and allow five seconds of feedback to determine who we are as people and what we are worth. Why? Because we don’t know how to define that for ourselves.
Seriously, every time, every single time we applaud our healthy eating, every time we count our macros, every time we fantasise about how life will be post weight loss we remind ourselves that we are broken, we are failures and that what we are, in this moment is NOT OK.
When you continually remind yourself that you need to lose weight, you create, maintain and amplify a belief, at the very core of yourself, that you are not OK.
And here’s the clincher! By the way, all jokes aside, you’re going to want to really take this in and actually absorb what you are about to read. This could change your life (as it did mine).
When your conscious mind fully commits to a belief, your subconscious mind will create the evidence to support it. Always. ALWAYS! ALWAYS!
OK, in layman’s terms.
When you mentally keep reminding yourself that you are not OK, that you’re fat, that you’re unattractive or that you are a failure – this becomes a belief (if it isn’t already).
This is the work of your conscious mind. The boss.
Your subconscious mind, which is obedient to your conscious mind, thinks that this is what you want, so it creates the desire to take the actions you need to take in order to achieve a spectacular outcome. The slave.
And. It. Never. Disappoints.
So you eat a shitload. Tick, that’s proof. You start to self-loathe yourself. Tick, more proof. You think you can suddenly read the judgemental thoughts of the people around you, who are (apparently) looking you up and down and thinking all kinds of negative stuff. Tick, more proof. You make a mental note of everything you can’t have, be or achieve as a fatty and yep, we add that to the proof pile.
Before long, we are so committed to that negative mindset that nothing can interrupt it.
We use affirmations about how much we love ourselves and how awesome we are … but mentally, we subtitle them with ‘once I lose weight’ or an unsaid acceptance that we don’t believe it, that it's shit.
We take compliments from others as an assumption that they feel they have to say nice things, or we brush it off with a pffft and a wave of the hand. Or sometimes we even make a joke at our own expense to deflect the discomfort of them (obviously) making shit up.
We deny ourselves simple pleasures like swimming at the beach, wearing a pair of shorts or even stopping to reflect and recognise our bodies for the incredible miracles they are.
So, what do you do?
Simplistically, you change your belief.
You reframe your belief.
You start to focus on the thrill of being alive, the gratitude of what your body actually does for you and how every single day you see your overall health improving. Because THAT’S why you’re doing it. You’re eating healthy to honour yourself. You’re listening to your body and nurturing it. You’re valuing yourself enough to be and do more because you’re worth it.
You really connect with yourself and stop seeing your mind and body as two separate things.
The weight loss will become secondary. It will happen quicker and will become almost an effortless afterthought that happens amid the authentic self-applause for who you are, the wonderment of what you are achieving and how you no longer dream, but you receive.
Sounds easy – and it is. But, sometimes (well OK, often) we drop back into that negative default state because the belief we have is one we acquired at a young age and it needs a crowbar to dislodge it.
Well hello … let me introduce myself.
I am your crowbar.
If you want to stop the continual cycle of weight loss failure, visit my website and book a session.
We’ll do it together and we’ll do it properly.
Because it’s time.
Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming
Master Practitioner of Time Line Therapy®
Master Practitioner of Clinical Hypnotherapy
Master Practitioner of Life Coaching
Partnering with individuals and organisations wanting the absolute best out of themselves and the people they lead.